Simon does his own thing much of the time, is entirely self sufficient so only eats chips socially, has an evil sense of humour and is far, far better at getting rid of the Jehovah's Witnesses when they come knocking than I ever was without the support of a semi-wild bird whose vocabulary must include every obscenity known to humankind and some that aren't.
The funniest thing - apart from when that mad old bird tells the unwanted callers exactly where to stick their Watchtower - is sitting in the back garden on a summer afternoon teaching him the lyrics to Blink 182 songs. Well one in particular. One that has next door's Yorkshire Terrier very worried indeed.
I don't have a garage at home, by the way.
I do like tractors though.
