Jokes thread

[Luxobarge]

SOME PEOPLE SHOULD BE MADE TO STAY AT HOME

From Thomas Cook Holidays - listing some guests' genuine complaints during the season

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

7. "The beach was too sandy."

8. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

10. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

12. "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled"

13. "There was no egg slicer in the apartment..."

14. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

15. "The roads were uneven.."

16. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

17. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.."

18. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying there?"

19. "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad."

20. "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

21. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

22. "I was bitten by a mosquito, no-one said they could bite."

23. "My fiance and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."


They walk amongst us and they vote!!! Be afraid! Be very afraid!

[TerryG]

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

That sounds like a complaint from the PC team after one of their foreign trips

[Mitsuru]

[Mitsuru]

[Minxy]

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.
Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it

[Minxy]

[Minxy]

Went to the fridge to check my burgers, aaaaannndddd they're off!!

[Minxy]

My brother took being sent to jail really badly.

He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and eventually smeared the walls with his own excrement.

We're never playing Monopoly with him again.

[Minxy]

How cool am i, i'm driving on the motorway in the snow and posting a joke at the sa

[Minxy]

The weathermen say the temperature is going to drop to extreme levels tomorrow, and everyone should check on the elderly and senile.


Are you all OK?