* Your Motorcar doesn't get upset when you forget it's birthday.
* You don't have to talk to your Motorcar after you drive it.
* You can choke your Motorcar.
* Your Motorcar doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
* Motorcars don't get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
* Motorcars don't snore.
* Your Motorcar won't wake you up at 3:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
* Your Motorcar won't leave you for another driver.
* You don't have to pay child or income support to an ex-Motorcar.
* If you say bad things to your Motorcar, you don't have to apologise before you can drive it again.
* If your Motorcar doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
* If your Motorcar goes flat, you can fix it.
* If your Motorcar is mis-aligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
* If your Motorcar is too loose, you can tighten it.
* If your Motorcar is too soft, you can get different shock-absorbers.
* If your Motorcar makes too much noise, you can buy a silencer.
* If your Motorcar smokes, you can do something about it.
* It's always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcar.
* Motorcars always feel like going for a ride.
* Motorcars don't care about how many other Motorcars you have driven.
* Motorcars don't care about how many other Motorcars you have.
* Motorcars don't care if you are late.
* Motorcars don't get pregnant.
* Motorcars don't have parents.
* Motorcars don't insult you if you are a bad driver.
* Motorcars don't mind if you look at other Motorcars, or if you buy Motorcar magazines.
* Motorcars don't whine unless something is really wrong.
* Motorcars last longer.
* Motorcars only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
* Motorcars' curves never sag.
* New Motorcars must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
* You and your Motorcar both arrive at the same time.
* You can have any colour Motorcar and show it to your parents.
* You can kick your Motorcar to wake it up.
* You can drive a Motorcar as long as you want and it won't get sore.
* You can drive a Motorcar any time of the month.
* You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
* You can't get diseases from a Motorcar you don't know very well.
* You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcar.
* You don't have to convince your Motorcar that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcars are equals.
* You don't have to deal with priests to register your Motorcar.
* You don't have to take a shower before driving your Motorcar.
* You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcar when the old one is REALLY worn.
* Your Motorcar never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcars.
* Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcar after you dump it.
* Your Motorcar doesn't care what you're wearing when you take it out.
* Wearing four fresh rubbers makes a ride in a Motorcar more enjoyable.
* The rashes you get from Motorcars go away without those painful Penicillin shots.
* One gets in no trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the Motorcar in the basement.
* Disassembling the Motorcar is done out of pleasure rather than need.
* Motorcars always sound pleasant.
* Unlike women fat Motorcars aren't cheap dates.
