Satnavs.
Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 11:04 am
Just to make an emphatic point, I hate satnavs. They have a computerised, synthesised, microwaved, annoying voice. (I've never heard one of those famous celebrity voice ones.) Imagine having Clarkson giving you earache every other minute!
But there have been times when, nearing the point of destination, my wife has switch the damn thing on. Here's a few howlers that it came up with.
Heading to the NAC at Stoneleigh. The italics represent the satnav's instructions.
"Exit the M42 and turn right onto the War Wick bypass. I looked over to my wife with a puzzled expression. "She hasn't learned that we pronounce Warwick as worrick yet," my wife explained. "Of course," I thought, smiling at the pronunciation. We travelled along the War Wick bypass until she told us to exit at the Strat Ford Road. "You needn't explain," I said to my wife, "I got that one." The satnav then directed us: "At the next roundabout, take the first exit, Ston Nelly Lane. This time I mouthed WTF to my wife. She was well ahead of me. "Ston Nelly Lane, you heard her," she said, smiling at my confusion. "Think about it. Ston-el-leigh." "Oh Stoneleigh," I laughed, the penny finally dropping.
On another occasion, in the city of Glasgow, satnav had instructed us to turn right. There was a temporary one way system in place, due to road works. We had to turn left. "When it's safe to do so, make a U turn," satnav instructed. I swear she gave one of those sighs that seems to say: I said turn right you stupid driver.
Have you got any satnav howlers, have you seen big trucks stuck under bridges, the driver blindly following the satnav instructions? Do you have one of those celebrity voices? Do share.
But there have been times when, nearing the point of destination, my wife has switch the damn thing on. Here's a few howlers that it came up with.
Heading to the NAC at Stoneleigh. The italics represent the satnav's instructions.
"Exit the M42 and turn right onto the War Wick bypass. I looked over to my wife with a puzzled expression. "She hasn't learned that we pronounce Warwick as worrick yet," my wife explained. "Of course," I thought, smiling at the pronunciation. We travelled along the War Wick bypass until she told us to exit at the Strat Ford Road. "You needn't explain," I said to my wife, "I got that one." The satnav then directed us: "At the next roundabout, take the first exit, Ston Nelly Lane. This time I mouthed WTF to my wife. She was well ahead of me. "Ston Nelly Lane, you heard her," she said, smiling at my confusion. "Think about it. Ston-el-leigh." "Oh Stoneleigh," I laughed, the penny finally dropping.
On another occasion, in the city of Glasgow, satnav had instructed us to turn right. There was a temporary one way system in place, due to road works. We had to turn left. "When it's safe to do so, make a U turn," satnav instructed. I swear she gave one of those sighs that seems to say: I said turn right you stupid driver.
Have you got any satnav howlers, have you seen big trucks stuck under bridges, the driver blindly following the satnav instructions? Do you have one of those celebrity voices? Do share.
