Practically Classics Forum

Subject: Male Logic...Man/Woman conversation



Woman: Do you drink beer?

Man: Yes



Woman: How many beers a day?

Man: Usually about 3



Woman: How much do you pay per beer?

Man: £5.00 which includes a tip



(This is where it gets scary !)

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?

Man: About 20 years, I suppose



Woman: So a beer costs £5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at £450. In one year, it would be approximately £5400 .....correct?

Man: Correct



Woman: If in 1 year you spend £5400, not accounting for inflation, the past

20 years puts your spending at £108,000, correct?

Man: Correct



Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?



Man: Do you drink beer?

Woman: No

Man: Where's your Ferrari?

The Black Bra (as told by a woman)


I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.

One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a
mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are
the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.


The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes.
When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.


Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me
he said,

(you are going to love this..)









" What's for dinner, Zorro?"

I've written a book called, '101 Ways To Revive The High Street.'
It's available on 'Kindle' from Monday.

Have you ever seen a twenty pound note all crumpled up?" asked the wife.

"No," I said.

She gave me a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.

"Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled up?" she asked.

"No," I said.

She gave me another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note.

"Now," she said, "have you ever seen 30,000 pounds all crumpled up?"

"No," I said, intrigued.

"Well just go and look in the garage".

In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: "I've blown the Head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort".

The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mum's.

Me and my wife stopped at a Motorway Services, today, for some breakfast. We had two fry ups, two coffees and two jam doughnuts. I got to the cashier and said, "I'm sorry, love, but I've only got a £50 note."
"That's okay," she replied, "just put the doughnuts back."

I asked my Scouse mate why he only spent three quid on his mum for her birthday
"That's all she had in her purse," he said.

Man who suffers from premature ejaculation WLTM woman with large breasts, long legs, nice round bum......oh, never mind.

I bumped into my mate in the pub last night who was looking a bit glum, so I asked him what was up.

"Well, I can't afford anything anymore so I've had to cancel my golf and gym memberships, my Sky TV package and had to cut down on fags to 20 a week" he sighed.

"Because of the recession?" I asked.

"No" he replied. "I've been forced off benefits and made to get a flaming job."