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[tractorman]

That sort of reminds me of an incident in a local agricultural machinery dealer's some years ago. I'll call him "Mr Tractorman" to save embarrassment!

A farmer had a baler in for repair during haytime (always a top priority job at that time of year). He called the next day to see how work was going and the baler was still where he left it - untouched. He was not impressed and was rather loud. The boss heard the commotion and came out to see - and got a mouthful too.

"Do you know who I am?" the boss asked the customer
"No and I don't give a f*** either!"
"I am Mr Tractorman!" the boss said in a really haughty manner (he was rather full of his own importance - and a desk jockey).
"Well you'd better take your f***ing jacket off and fix my f***ing baler then!"

[mach1rob]

I never cease to be amazed at how fast some folks can take offence. I had a chap who was a fairly regular customer come into the garage I managed. I knew him him as a customer. I said, " Ok mate." He glared at me and said, " I am NOT your mate now or at any time in the future. I can think of no reason why I should be. You can refer to me as Mr ********." I was somewhat taken aback to say the least. I'm afraid I lost my composure and and shouted "**** off and take that piece of **** that you call a car with you!" He went crimson. I thought he would explode! He then shouted, "I want to speak to the owner I demand an apology!" I said "He's not here but if you come back later and react to him the way you did to me he'll tell you to **** off as well." The guy jumped in his car and shot off the forecourt. A few months later this guy came in for an MOT. It didn't fail but it wasn't for the sake of trying! I'm sure he didn't realise it was the same place. I only spoke as yes, no.

I think I should write a book of funny experiences in a garage.

See I'd have replied "I am the ****ing owner so which bit did you not understand the first time?"

[Phil P]

I was a mere 23 year old at the time so I looked too young to own the garage but yes with a bit of visual maturity I could have got away with that.

I did have funny moments. We had a Walls ice cream fridge in the shop area. One guy who was a regular came in one day and said, "All right Phil, do you serve paraffin?" I said , "Yes". He relied, "Well wash your hands then and get me a choc ice out of the fridge!"

[tractorman]

I occasionally helped with MOTs at our old local garage - doing the apprentice's job of turning the steering, press brake pedal etc. I called in one morning and the lad had an apprentice in an Austin seven and was doing the usual shouting "side lights...headlights" etc. I told the apprentice to stick his arm out of the window and told the mechanic that the right indicator was a bit slow. I was asked to leave ... not very politely!