Deathtraps & Idiots

[TerryG]

English translation
In one of the 90s police camera action style programs a number of undesirable characters in a stolen metro manage to squeeze between two concrete bollards which are too close for the local constabulary to follow in their car as it was too wide.
In another episode after a car chase the driver runs away and hides in a wheelie bin. The police are able to find him with the thermal imaging camera in their helicopter introducing the new age of policing where you can't hide in silly places as the police can still find you.

[Mitsuru]

Thank you for the translation terry as a Northern even I could not
understand a word that was written!

[JPB]

English translation
In one of the 90s police camera action style programs a number of undesirable characters in a stolen metro manage to squeeze between two concrete bollards which are too close for the local constabulary to follow in their car as it was too wide.
In another episode after a car chase the driver runs away and hides in a wheelie bin. The police are able to find him with the thermal imaging camera in their helicopter introducing the new age of policing where you can't hide in silly places as the police can still find you.

Terry, I had no idea that you were bilingual. Well done!

Thank you for the translation terry as a Northern even I could not
understand a word that was written!

Travelling around the region as I do, I have observed the different ways in which folk from different parts say things and would say that folk from that far down the country have very little in common, linguistically, with the good burghers of Wallsend. In fact you Monkey Hangers, smoggies and other parmo guzzling north midlanders have a language that's every bit as different from English as it is in that London. Now to hear really funny talk you need to go down there once in a while.

[Phil P]

What a bunch a bloody prats. Jumpin out of a bloody Metro un 'idin in a cowin waily bin. The only thing diffrunt iz the bloody waily bin uz only got 2 cowin wails un bloody smells berra. It's a loff ayit. Yow cuddunt bloody mek it up ar kid! Ar blerm the cowin perunts. The bloody coppers ay gorra brern between um. Bloody useliss bastuds. Ar cor bloody understond them Northunuz. Every waird starts with a bloody T dowit. Yow goo to werk on t'bus and goo down to t'pub. What koind of cowin langwidge is that?

Phil. Arm bloody Black Country born un bloody bred. Strung in the arm but not wake in the cowin 'ed! Ar gorra bloody sustificut fower me cowin English from collij so dow tek the cowin piss oroight!

[Grumpy Northener]

What a bunch a bloody prats. Jumpin out of a bloody Metro un 'idin in a cowin waily bin. The only thing diffrunt iz the bloody waily bin uz only got 2 cowin wails un bloody smells berra. It's a loff ayit. Yow cuddunt bloody mek it up ar kid! Ar blerm the cowin perunts. The bloody coppers ay gorra brern between um. Bloody useliss bastuds. Ar cor bloody understond them Northunuz. Every waird starts with a bloody T dowit. Yow goo to werk on t'bus and goo down to t'pub. What koind of cowin langwidge is that? Phil. Arm bloody Black Country born un bloody bred. Strung in the arm but not wake in the cowin 'ed! Ar gorra bloody sustificut fower me cowin English from collij so dow tek the cowin piss oroight!

Eh ?

[JPB]

What a bunch a bloody prats. Jumpin out of a bloody Metro un 'idin in a cowin waily bin. The only thing diffrunt iz the bloody waily bin uz only got 2 cowin wails un bloody smells berra. It's a loff ayit. Yow cuddunt bloody mek it up ar kid! Ar blerm the cowin perunts. The bloody coppers ay gorra brern between um. Bloody useliss bastuds. Ar cor bloody understond them Northunuz. Every waird starts with a bloody T dowit. Yow goo to werk on t'bus and goo down to t'pub. What koind of cowin langwidge is that? Phil. Arm bloody Black Country born un bloody bred. Strung in the arm but not wake in the cowin 'ed! Ar gorra bloody sustificut fower me cowin English from collij so dow tek the cowin piss oroight!

Eh ?

I think he's asking us to punch him, but maybe it's a shopping list? Who knows, apart from Terry the forum bilingualist?

[mr rusty]

He is speaking my native tongue and I understand every word despite having been resident in and around East London/Essex for 35 years since the age of 18...........people here still refer to me as a 'northener', because as every cockernee knows the 'north' starts at Watford, and that's Watford, Herts, not the Watford gap, which is considered down here to be somewhere in Scotland.......

[TerryG]

Up Norf is anywhere above Watford. "Tottenham court road is the midlands". I was born in London and lived there until 2 years ago.
Most mockneys need a slap as they speak like idiots to get attention.

[JPB]

.....Most mockneys need a slap as they speak like idiots to get attention.

[Mitsuru]

To quote the venerable now saint Bede, the boarder between the
north and the south of England is the mouth of the river Humber!
From that point draw a line due west
(don't use the m62 as a guide or we end up with Manchester )