The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named Poppy

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Fatbloke
Posts: 381
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:50 pm
Location: Royal Wootton Bassett

Re: The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named P

#31 Post by Fatbloke »

Whilst I was waiting for the rest of the shiny bits and new sump plug to arrive I stripped down and thoroughly cleaned my master cylinder and fitted all the nice new seals, clips, grease and rubber cover from my master cylinder repair kit. All done without any drama…That is until Mrs FB came home from work and pointed out, rather forcefully I thought, that the kitchen top was probably an even more unsuitable place to be playing with dirty car bits than the coffee table. I thought this a little unfair as I had thoroughly cleaned it first and I wasn’t “playing”. But I had learned my lesson and kept my mouth firmly shut, thus avoiding another trip to A&E.

I think now would be a good time to tell you about one of my father-in-law’s prized possessions. A truly massive and comprehensive imperial and metric Draper socket set with almost every socket, hex key, screw driver bits and ratchet drives you ever possibly need in life. It was bought for him as a birthday present by his eldest son with his 1st proper paycheque back in the early 80’s (Sadly, one of the bereavements mentioned above.)

I knew of its existence because I had been allowed to look, and only look, at it when he was rebuilding my Marina engine all those years ago. So, it was with some trepidation that I asked to borrow it when I set out on my re-commissioning. To my surprise and great honour he said yes. He pointed out that the sockets may not all be in the tray in the correct size order. I took this as being his way of saying that “They had better all be in the tray in their correct size order when I get it back” and duly noted this.
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At this point, I think I ought to point out that what followed was a result of my bumbling incompetence and any impression that I was being “clever” is purely accidental.

I’d returned to the lock-up one evening after work and was fiddling around underneath the car trying to find a socket that I could perhaps hammer onto the drain plug. (Don’t worry, these sockets were from my own small cheap set that I had long discovered were made of a silver chocolate like substance rather than proper metal.) I inadvertently put a socket onto squarish drain plug the wrong way round and discovered that the square receptacle in the back of the socket for the 3/8” drive was a passable fit. This set me thinking. I quickly got up and went to my father-in-law’s socket set banging my head in the process. A search of the impressive display of gleaming implements soon turned up what I was looking for. A largish hex key for a 3/8” drive, the correct spanner to fit the Hex part and another spanner to link to the 1st to improve leverage.

I got back under the car and fitted my improvised “Triumph rounded off drain plug removal tool” to the rounded off drain plug and applied the requisite pressure. Realised I was trying to turn it the wrong way and spent a couple of minutes trying to work out how to link the spanners to go the other way. I then applied the requisite pressure and undid the drain plug and was rewarded by a flow of very black oil. I very quickly refastened the drain plug while I went in search of my patented drained oil receptacle that I’d forgotten, and a large wad of paper towel to mop up the spilt oil! I then removed the drain plug again and filled my patented drained oil receptacle. (A 5L oil can with the side cut out.) I had a celebratory cup of tea while the rest of the oil fully drained and then swapped the oil filter, fitted the new, still very square drain plug and topped up with fresh 20w/50.

It was getting dark now but buoyed up by my success, I decided to remove the front callipers and hoses ready to fit the new shiny ones when they arrived. I put the front of the car on axel stands and had the job done surprisingly quickly all by the headlights of my strategically placed modern... Which then suffered the embarrassment of having to be jumpstarted off the new triumph battery before I could go home! :oops:

To be continued...
Last edited by Fatbloke on Thu May 29, 2014 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Mike.

A Fatbloke in a Herald
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JPB
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Re: The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named P

#32 Post by JPB »

:lol: We've all done similar things with jump leads, at least Poppy can't start herself and run for long enough to cause an electric fan to kick in which then runs for so long after the engine has run for long enough to satisfy the purpose of its starting itself (in the middle of the night :evil: ) in the first place that the battery is flat the next morning and the one classic alternative that is at home and road legal is between the front garage door and the modern with the annoying DPF auto-regen facility and the flat battery. :oops:

There are so many advantages to classics as daily transport. So if only my work permitted me to use one but they don't, because neither of the Diesels is equipped with a DPF and that's me back to square one. Again. :x

Great stuff, keep it up but please don't be tempted to link spanners for extra leverage. The sharp, plated edge of a bit of broken jaw can cause a great deal of pain when it snaps and flies. Or should I say when it lands! ;)
J
"Home is where you park it", so the saying goes. That may yet come true.. :oops:
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TerryG
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Location: East Midlands

Re: The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named P

#33 Post by TerryG »

JPB wrote: Great stuff, keep it up but please don't be tempted to link spanners for extra leverage. The sharp, plated edge of a bit of broken jaw can cause a great deal of pain when it snaps and flies. Or should I say when it lands! ;)
Not to mention when your arm scrapes against the edge of the broken spanner slightly before you punch the underside of your car while lying on your back undoing prop shaft bolts. (can you tell I am a bit bitter following last weekend's car DIY)
Understeer: when you hit the wall with the front of the car.
Oversteer: when you hit the wall with the back of the car.
Horsepower: how fast you hit the wall.
Torque: how far you take the wall with you.
Fatbloke
Posts: 381
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:50 pm
Location: Royal Wootton Bassett

Re: The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named P

#34 Post by Fatbloke »

TerryG wrote:
JPB wrote: Great stuff, keep it up but please don't be tempted to link spanners for extra leverage. The sharp, plated edge of a bit of broken jaw can cause a great deal of pain when it snaps and flies. Or should I say when it lands! ;)
Not to mention when your arm scrapes against the edge of the broken spanner slightly before you punch the underside of your car while lying on your back undoing prop shaft bolts. (can you tell I am a bit bitter following last weekend's car DIY)
OK chaps, I shall learn from your bitter experiences! and I thought that I was being clever and felt almost a proper weekend warrior mechanic! :(
Mike.

A Fatbloke in a Herald
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TerryG
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Re: The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named P

#35 Post by TerryG »

I've been doing it for years and have only ever broken 2 spanners, both of them fairly cheap ones so it is probably a case of cheap tools being misused rather than a problem with the method. as long as you don't go silly with the torque you apply, it should be fine.
Understeer: when you hit the wall with the front of the car.
Oversteer: when you hit the wall with the back of the car.
Horsepower: how fast you hit the wall.
Torque: how far you take the wall with you.
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JPB
Posts: 10319
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Re: The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named P

#36 Post by JPB »

Image^^^^ Animal! :lol: ;)

OK, so possibly I may have risked that back in the bad old days (prove it though.. :P ) but if any student in the department were found doing that, there'd be staff bollockings and possibly even sackings. :x
J
"Home is where you park it", so the saying goes. That may yet come true.. :oops:
TerryT
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu May 29, 2014 9:13 pm

Re: The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named P

#37 Post by TerryT »

Have your electrics ever given up the ghost?
Fatbloke
Posts: 381
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:50 pm
Location: Royal Wootton Bassett

Re: The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named P

#38 Post by Fatbloke »

TerryT wrote:Have your electrics ever given up the ghost?
No Terry. As I'm sure you know, I have access to quality, good value products! :lol:
Mike.

A Fatbloke in a Herald
Fatbloke
Posts: 381
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:50 pm
Location: Royal Wootton Bassett

Re: The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named P

#39 Post by Fatbloke »

The water pump and recon callipers arrived along with all the other brake parts required and my trusty flask of tea and I were back at the lock-up bright and early the following Saturday. The plan was to fit the water pump, refit the radiator, fit the front callipers, hoses and master cylinder before turning Poppy around so I could work on the back brakes in the light from the open door.

Well I soon had the new water pump fitted and after searching for over an hour for the “safe place” refitted the fan and the radiator. Then filled up with the correct mix of water and antifreeze. The callipers, hoses and all associated parts were also fitted up properly and looking lovely and shiny. It went so smoothly, it was almost as though I had a clue what I was doing! The fly in the ointment though, was that while I was so successfully fitting all these shiny bits, I noticed that the bush had come out of one of the anti-roll bar links, the track rod end gaiters were horribly split and there was a small hole in the offside steering rack gaiter.
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I started by removing the anti-roll bar link and tried to get the bush and tube back in, but it all refused to co-operate. Pushing with fingers didn’t work. Hitting it with a hammer didn’t work and neither did hitting it with a bigger hammer. Nor did a Fatbloke standing on it or jumping up and down on it manage to get the bush back in so I gave up and went home and decided to order a new one with all the rubber bits now required.

The wonderfully patient and helpful people at Canley Classics were subjected to yet another call and all the additional parts were very quickly received.

The date for the Prom was approaching worryingly quickly so I planned a full weekend of spannering and optimistically booked the MOT test for 1st thing Monday morning before work.

The new anti-roll bar link was quickly fitted and it was time to turn my attention to the track rod end gaiters which looked easy. Just a matter of undoing the single nut slipping the track rod end out of the steering arm and swapping the new gaiters for the old.
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I am sure all the old lags out in forum land have already spotted the flaw in my plan. The nut was undone but I could not separate the track rod end from the steering arm. I tried pushing it, wiggling it, pushing and wiggling at the same time. I then tried standing astride the wheel and lifting it until I remembered the calliper incident. I even consulted my trusty Haynes manual which had never let me down so far. It simply said “remove from steering arm” which I didn’t find particularly helpful! I am ashamed to say I then resorted to a big hammer…which didn’t work either.

It was time to cancel the MOT and consult the experts… I posted a plea for help in the technical matters section and you didn’t let me down. The first reply from “Zipgun” said “Whatever you do, don’t hit the threaded bit with a hammer”…oops….I had left the nut on the end though…

Apparently, track rod ends are also known as “ball-joints” that I need to “split”. I did consider Zipgun’s two hammer method but Mrs FB pointed out that I was dangerous with one hammer let alone two. Luxobarge then came to the rescue. He pointed out that there is a cunning tool imaginatively called a “ball-joint splitter” which of course, I didn’t have. I quick trip to my local machine mart rectified this and my ball-joints were very quickly and efficiently split, gaiters changed and all reassembled and I’d discovered a new favourite tool. It’s called “the right one for the job”!! Handy hint though. NEVER pick up the Machine Mart catalogue. I have wasted an awful lot of time drooling over it planning my “lotto win” workshop full of all the “right tools for the job”!
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Logic would suggest that I should have changed the steering gaiter while the TRE was off. However, I’d been reading up on this job and everyone was saying how difficult it was to get the new gaiter onto rack housing without offering any real suggestions. Time was short. So I decided to stick a bicycle puncture repair patch over the hole and hope that that would do for now and added “find my puncture repair kit” to my “to do” list.

Flushed with my success, I went ahead and re-fitted the master cylinder and promptly cross threaded the union into the cylinder! Well I thought it was just a bit stiff, which means that the thread in both the MC and union are completely stuffed. I said lots and lots of REALLY bad words and went home to consult a bottle of Merlot on how best to proceed. The Merlot suggested that I buy a new master cylinder and section of brake pipe from Canley’s. Which I did, after drinking the Merlot.

To be continued...
Mike.

A Fatbloke in a Herald
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Luxobarge
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Location: Horne, Surreyshire

Re: The misadventures of a fatbloke and 13/60 Herald named P

#40 Post by Luxobarge »

Glad the ball joint splitter worked. I know what you mean about going into Machine Mart though - never yet managed it without buying loads of stuff "I didn't realise that I needed....."

:lol: :lol:
Some people are like Slinkies - they serve no useful purpose, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them downstairs.
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